Identity

*I would like before hand to apologise for the use of the word "crazy" as it might be offensive to some. To be politically correct one would use in its place "mentally unstable"

But I have chosen to use crazy because that is the word my four year old uses to describe me when I am mentally unstable.

"Most girls" is a song that got me, my sister and friends talking. One friend of mine said it would be more appropriate if it was called "All girls" and I agree with her. "All girls are smart, strong and beautiful" instead of "Most girls" Would not that be more inclusive? And honest?

I have a four year old daughter. Me and my mother make sure there is no T.V in the house and her exposure to songs or films on the telephone are filtered.

She is living with my grandmother away in Rwanda. And I am missing her so much.

As for controlling what she watches is not that easy. Sometimes you allow her to look into other people's phones as I have done in the past. And you discover she is reiterating all the bad words. She heard and at night she talks in her sleep about it or screams.

My lesson is find a way to be very involved. I came to England to get treatment for my mental illness. Because in Rwanda the mental hospital there is probably the worst in the world. I suffer from what they call Bipolar Disorder. A fluctuating illness that goes from being crazy to being too sad.

So I am happy that for the first time in four years, my daughter is going to get a much needed break from her crazy mother.

When I have a relapse, which refers to a crisis. My little girl suffers the most. And that is why England is the best country to get treatment for mental health issues.

They respect that your child might be harmed or that you might harm yourself and remove you from her immediately which is good. And everyone else for that matter.

It has been like this since she was born. Her mother in and out of hospital or treated at home. And the psychological trauma that has had on her only God knows.

However I am hopeful that one day I will also get a break from being crazy.
And be the mother I was born to be to my lovely little girl.

My Pearl. That is her name in English.

But when I speak to her on the phone all she says is that she misses me and wonders where I have gone?

www.anysieniyonshuti.blogspot.com

Ku ndunduro (Forever/for the rest of my life)

Lyrics Translation From Kinyarwanda into English

Social Mula is the title this Rwandan solo artist chose to give himself. His real name is Lambert. I researched and that is all I got.

When I first heard this song. It was like wow. I liked it. Venturina liked it. And whenever it played on the radio everyone knew that that was my song!

And because I enjoy sharing a great experience. I tried my best at translating it into English from Kinyarwanda. Rwanda's national language.

Muraho? Nshuti zanjye. Nd'umunyarwanda uba mu Bwongereza.
Igihe nari mu Rwanda nasanze abakobwa benshi bageze mu myaka cumi ni tandatu bakora imirimo yo murugo. Bakagombwe bajya kwishuri.

Noneho iyi ndirimbo nayisobanuye mu Cyongereza. Kubafasha ku cyiga.
Umukobwa uba murugo cyangwa ukora imirimo yo murugo ashobora ku ta bona umwanya wo kujya ku bikoresho bya amajyambere nkibi.

Ariko umuntu agira aho ahera. Intambwe yambere nu kugerageza.

If there is anyone who feels that the lyrics could be twicked a bit and made better. Please feel free to comment. Niba hari umuntu wumva ko iyi ndirimbo ishobora gusobanurwa neza, ya tanga igitekerezo. Nu buntu. Your thoughts are welcome.








When I saw you for the first time
It was as if I saw a miracle
Right a way I was engulfed by surprise
Such beauty that you are

I lost my strength
Because I saw that there were other men more interesting than me
And they would all gravitate towards you
It gave me a headache
Because I could not find any way to get me word in

And so when you told me that you loved me
I went into shock!
From that moment
I made a decision
To marry and to love you
For the rest of my life

(Chorus)

You do not need me to tell you
That you are the one and only I will love
For the rest of my life
That in my heart you are and
Will always be my first love

Whether you are hurting or happy
I will be there
I will love you for the rest of my life
O yes
I will love you for the rest of my life

You taught me to value myself
You created a path for a love that is infinite
And I walked through it with my head held high
Through footsteps of gladness

Like someone who sings a beautiful song
I do not know what it is that you do that makes me so happy
And that is why we are always going to be close to eachother

In a voice louder than ever
Let me express my feelings for you in greater heights
In my deepest thoughts
No one comes close to replacing you

Because of all those reasons
With all of them added together
I promised to love you
Honestly for the rest of my life

Chorus repeated x2