The Painting of My Daughter Pearl To Be in an EXHIBITION! Can't believe it!

When I started painting Lavender Girl, I was thinking about my little girl Venturina. Who might be a thousand kilometres away thinking about her mummy. Wondering when mummy is going to come home. Standing somewhere in her little corner waiting for her mother. Thinking of her mother. Me.

Would you mind coming and sharing with me this first time experience?

.

It is taking place at the Humber Royal Hotel, Littlecoates Road, Grimsby DN34 4XL

On the 20th of September 2017

From 9 a.m to 11 a.m.

It is part of the NAVIGO Health and Social Care Annual Meeting

Which is about a celebration of artwork, song and poetry by service users across the country.

So come and enjoy yourself, participate, lay back and immerse yourself with the people who work hard to keep mentally unstable people like me out of hospital, out and about socialising, having fun, training, and getting into employment.

Right now I am working at TUKES Restaurant.

My boss makes working there so much fun. She hums and sings and cracks jokes and you are like "Wow, I am happy I came to work today."

I go to work twice a week. For a few hours. This gives me a routine. Something to look forward to and combat stress.

I read on nhs.co.uk that people in the UK work the longest hours in all of Europe.

That is not what it is like in Cleethorpes and Grimsby.

People open late and close early.

My point is I try to protect myself from stress by managing how many hours I spend at work and whether I love what I do.

Thank you for taking the time to read this advert. 

If you can make it, please come. 

You may or may not meet me but you are guaranteed to see "LAVENDER GIRL"

Title of my art piece.

Alexandra💋

How I Found Myself

www.anysieniyonshuti.blogspot.com

After an upsetting incident, I rushed into my room and started drawing on this cardboard box.
I find that when I am most stressed, I am calmed down by some sort of art form.

When I was in hospital at Harrison House in Grimsby. I found the art classes joyful. I would be in a room with fellow patients and we would laugh and joke and share ideas and thoughts about our drawings.

I like socialising. I enjoy the company of other people.

What I have noticed in the past is that when I am bereft of a social life, I decay.

That means I don't want to eat alone at lunchtime. I don't want to sleep in a house by myself.

And I have been lucky. I  have been blessed with an understanding, supportive and loving mother. Whose done more than a carer can do. Whose raised Venturina from the minute she was born.  She has been there for me and is probably responsible for how well I have coped and is coping in these years.

I am also grateful to work in an environment that considers all that. That understands that I have a long term mental illness and that it is OK.

My mother says that it is an illness like any other. Like heart disease, diabetes, HIV, any illness that means you take medication on a regular basis. And you are alright.

Identity

*I would like before hand to apologise for the use of the word "crazy" as it might be offensive to some. To be politically correct one would use in its place "mentally unstable"

But I have chosen to use crazy because that is the word my four year old uses to describe me when I am mentally unstable.

"Most girls" is a song that got me, my sister and friends talking. One friend of mine said it would be more appropriate if it was called "All girls" and I agree with her. "All girls are smart, strong and beautiful" instead of "Most girls" Would not that be more inclusive? And honest?

I have a four year old daughter. Me and my mother make sure there is no T.V in the house and her exposure to songs or films on the telephone are filtered.

She is living with my grandmother away in Rwanda. And I am missing her so much.

As for controlling what she watches is not that easy. Sometimes you allow her to look into other people's phones as I have done in the past. And you discover she is reiterating all the bad words. She heard and at night she talks in her sleep about it or screams.

My lesson is find a way to be very involved. I came to England to get treatment for my mental illness. Because in Rwanda the mental hospital there is probably the worst in the world. I suffer from what they call Bipolar Disorder. A fluctuating illness that goes from being crazy to being too sad.

So I am happy that for the first time in four years, my daughter is going to get a much needed break from her crazy mother.

When I have a relapse, which refers to a crisis. My little girl suffers the most. And that is why England is the best country to get treatment for mental health issues.

They respect that your child might be harmed or that you might harm yourself and remove you from her immediately which is good. And everyone else for that matter.

It has been like this since she was born. Her mother in and out of hospital or treated at home. And the psychological trauma that has had on her only God knows.

However I am hopeful that one day I will also get a break from being crazy.
And be the mother I was born to be to my lovely little girl.

My Pearl. That is her name in English.

But when I speak to her on the phone all she says is that she misses me and wonders where I have gone?

www.anysieniyonshuti.blogspot.com

Ku ndunduro (Forever/for the rest of my life)

Lyrics Translation From Kinyarwanda into English

Social Mula is the title this Rwandan solo artist chose to give himself. His real name is Lambert. I researched and that is all I got.

When I first heard this song. It was like wow. I liked it. Venturina liked it. And whenever it played on the radio everyone knew that that was my song!

And because I enjoy sharing a great experience. I tried my best at translating it into English from Kinyarwanda. Rwanda's national language.

Muraho? Nshuti zanjye. Nd'umunyarwanda uba mu Bwongereza.
Igihe nari mu Rwanda nasanze abakobwa benshi bageze mu myaka cumi ni tandatu bakora imirimo yo murugo. Bakagombwe bajya kwishuri.

Noneho iyi ndirimbo nayisobanuye mu Cyongereza. Kubafasha ku cyiga.
Umukobwa uba murugo cyangwa ukora imirimo yo murugo ashobora ku ta bona umwanya wo kujya ku bikoresho bya amajyambere nkibi.

Ariko umuntu agira aho ahera. Intambwe yambere nu kugerageza.

If there is anyone who feels that the lyrics could be twicked a bit and made better. Please feel free to comment. Niba hari umuntu wumva ko iyi ndirimbo ishobora gusobanurwa neza, ya tanga igitekerezo. Nu buntu. Your thoughts are welcome.








When I saw you for the first time
It was as if I saw a miracle
Right a way I was engulfed by surprise
Such beauty that you are

I lost my strength
Because I saw that there were other men more interesting than me
And they would all gravitate towards you
It gave me a headache
Because I could not find any way to get me word in

And so when you told me that you loved me
I went into shock!
From that moment
I made a decision
To marry and to love you
For the rest of my life

(Chorus)

You do not need me to tell you
That you are the one and only I will love
For the rest of my life
That in my heart you are and
Will always be my first love

Whether you are hurting or happy
I will be there
I will love you for the rest of my life
O yes
I will love you for the rest of my life

You taught me to value myself
You created a path for a love that is infinite
And I walked through it with my head held high
Through footsteps of gladness

Like someone who sings a beautiful song
I do not know what it is that you do that makes me so happy
And that is why we are always going to be close to eachother

In a voice louder than ever
Let me express my feelings for you in greater heights
In my deepest thoughts
No one comes close to replacing you

Because of all those reasons
With all of them added together
I promised to love you
Honestly for the rest of my life

Chorus repeated x2